pride and oreos

today my kids were really well behaved at the mall.  so...i decided to bless them with cookies.  it is extremely rare for me to buy something and let them eat it as we walk the aisles of the store ...(i think it's that moment when you sheepishly put the empty container on the conveyor belt and the cashier looks at you like you're nuts)... but i was so proud of them and pleased with them and honestly was trying to buy a few more minutes to get my shopping done...so they had oreos in the stroller...

several people commented on
     how cute they are...
               what a great mom i was...
                         how well behaved they are...
                                   what a great mom i was...
                                              what nice little children they are...
                                                        what a great mom i was...
                                                                  oh my!  you have your hands full!
                                                                            what a great mom...

yeah...i was feeling pretty good about myself.  i really was an amazing mom.  in fact...i am such a good mom...they should make a tv show featuring yours truly and her 4 beautiful children...i could write parenting books.  i would travel the world and be on talk shows and the whole world would be a better place because everyone would heed my suggestions and parent 'my way'.  my kids are so lucky to have me for a mom...i'm sure they will know that when they are 16...and i kept on dreaming...

Proverbs 16:18
First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.

then i stepped in front of the stroller to peruse a shelf and looked back at my sweet children.
i really should have taken a picture...but i could insert any picture of 3 adorably filthy children and you'd get the picture.  one of my twins had oreo smudged all over her face and into her eyebrows...my son had it all over his hands and chin...the other twin was pretty clean (until i found the oreo cream in her hair).  even the baby took part in the delicious filth (he had a little hand print on his belly from one of his helpful siblings trying to comfort him).

i was so embarrassed.  and i crashed hard into reality...not self-pity...just reality.

the fact is...i am a good mom.  i love my kids.  i am doing everything in my power to let them know that Jesus loves them fiercely.  i am allowing them to make mistakes and messes but i am also teaching them how to set things right.  they may have to go the therapy when they are older...but it won't be for anything i've done on purpose.

the fact is also...my oldest child is 3.  i still have a lot to learn and experience as a mother.  i will have good days and bad days.  my kids will also have good days and bad days.  and that just has to be okay. 

as long as i remember that God is God and i am me...then whether the day is good or bad...we'll all be just fine.