Saturday, August 11, 2012


Psalm 119:9-16
How can a young person live a clean life?
By carefully reading the map of your Word.
I'm single-minded in pursuit of you;
don't let me miss the road signs you've posted.
I've banked your promises in the vault of my heart
so I won't sin myself bankrupt.
Be blessed, God;
train me in your ways of wise living.
I'll transfer to my lips
all the counsel that comes from your mouth;
I delight far more in what you tell me about living
than in gathering a pile of riches.
I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you,
I attentively watch how you've done it.
I relish everything you've told me of life,
I won't forget a word of it.

i am grateful for my upbringing.  my family didn't do everything right...but they did take me to church and teach me right and wrong. 

i used to despise my innocence.  when i was a kid i would covet the testimonies that i would hear at church camp.  you know...the testimonies of rough kids redeemed by Christ.  they would have these dramatic stories about their transformation.  most of these stories involved a near-death experience and the speaker almost always had an alternative look (ie. tattoos, piercings and crazy hair styles) reminding them of their previous lifestyle.

they would often use the scripture that says 'he who has been forgiven much, loves much.'  and my heart would ache.

my dad didn't beat me.  my parents didn't drink.  i never did drugs.  i never heard gunshots...other than the ones that my dad and i made at the range.  i never shoplifted.  i never slept out on the street...other than when we went camping as a family.  i was always protected.

i always felt like i couldn't really love Jesus unless i had a screwed up lifestyle for Him to rescue me from.  so i started making screwed up choices.

ironically, i loved Jesus too much to go very far down that road.  and He protected me.

i am so thankful that i had the family that i do.  i am thankful that i was taught to do the right thing.  and while i am not without wounds from my childhood...i am glad that i learned to turn to Jesus as my healer and redeemer at an early age. 

i love Jesus.  i have been forgiven of so much...and protected from so much.  (funny, my first name means 'protected') ...and that makes me love Him so much more.

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